Somewhere near

Yesterday counted 4 years since the last time I spoke to my Dad.  I find myself caught in between disbelief and a broken heart.  Having the chance to say goodbye is no real comfort.  How can any words say what should be said?  How do you put together 30 years of daughter and Dad into just a minute or two of time?  Sometimes I have to move my mind away before it hurts too much.  So I’ll just leave this – and wish it be true.  And wish he was here.  M x

Death is nothing at all.  It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.  It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.  Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!  ~ Henry Scott Holland

This entry was posted in Family.


  1. Brierley + Clover February 5, 2012 at 8:19 am #

    Beautiful post Mel – it’s almost a year since my grandfather died – I have to believe that he’s just around the corner x

  2. Mish February 5, 2012 at 8:40 am #

    Oh Mel, so beautiful. I know this poem well – it is in a frame with a photo of my dad. Your words and this photograph of your wonderful dad and baby Mel takes my breath away. xo

  3. Jen February 5, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    Mel – my heart feels heavy for you. It’s so hard to lose someone you love so much and the memories are bitter sweet. One thing I hang on to at times like these is that you do miss him SO much. If you didn’t your life with him wouldn’t have been beautiful. Thinking of you my beautiful friend. xxx

  4. Dutch Emma February 5, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

    And you did it again.

    (Your father’s tie made me smile through my tears – I think my dad had one just like it)


  5. melriddell February 8, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    It’s hard to look at this photo and think, if only we knew it would be goodbye after 31 years. So many things I wish we’d done, that I had been able to say.

    Emma, my Dad loved his ties! He had a wonderful collection and I loved looking for the most fancy silk ties I could find for him.

    Thank you all for your comments and love. And I send mine back to you. xxx

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